Take a Chance

September ended with a bang here in Ukiah. A storm of substantial proportions, both weather wise, and life wise.  Now that October is fully here, the more personal events of September beg for reflection. 

I'm a firm believer that the universe will provide what we need, if we can only be quiet enough to hear, and openminded enough to see and understand the design that emerges.  Sometimes I follow the lead well. Other times my ego gets in the way. I "think" I know what I'm supposed to do, and I put my energies behind that.  My original move up to Boise was an example of that approach, forcing things to happen even when it all feels wrong.  Moving the horses to the first place here in Ukiah is another example of ignoring what feels wrong. 

Other times, I open myself to the opportunities, and trust what unfolds. I throw out lots of threads, and the ones that get picked up, I follow.   I ask for what I want, and see what happens.  My move back to Trinidad from Boise (finding my place to live with the Mankas, and finding the horse pasture with the Homans), and my move to Lake County had large elements of trust and openness for me.   

My move to Ukiah had elements of trust (leaping without a job or home, believing that it was the right thing to do, and trusting in Jay and me).   However, mostly it's been an uphill struggle with my stubbornness, in all areas of  my life.   For many years, I have been on my own and relied on myself to take really good care of myself.  I am used to being very responsible and resourceful, and running my show.  With great patience, Jay waited for me to be ready to lean on him (that's where the title of this blog came from....he is my sturdy limb).  After my attempts at making the move on my own refused to work out, I finally let go and trusted Jay's lead. Absolutely one of the best decisions I've ever made, to make a home with him.
 

Then there's my horses.  With them, I had several false starts, and expended extensive energy making short-term situations work while combing the county for a long term solution. What was it the universe wanted?   I got the message and started networking, meeting many wonderful people. I began to feel like I belonged in Ukiah after putting out lots and lots of threads.  I emerged from the forest holding one good thread that led to a good home for Ber and Gio.  Over a month later, it is still a beautiful decision that has worked out well for all involved. Including  me, with my 13 mile round trip on the bike every day!

Professionally, I tried (again and again and again) to find a "real" job.  For five months I applied to everything I could find that I had the skills for.  Nothing to show for it but a pile of rejection letters, emails, and phone messages.  This has been the biggest hurdle for me. What did my heart want to do?   Promote the book and share the Culture of Hope with the world.  That's risky, and gutsy, and necessitates courage and tenacity.  I kept ignoring my heart, because I thought logically I needed to have a job and THEN I could promote the book.   How would I pay my bills, let alone the travel costs that are sure to mount up?

The last rejection email really stung because the job was a coach for the county, in school improvement and common core standards--exactly what I am extremely qualified to do. Not even an invitation to interview.  I was stumped.  Sitting on the couch, muttering to myself about blind alleys and dead ends and working myself up to a good G-rated curse at the universe, Jay cleared his throat and ventured, "Sweetheart, I think you have before you a wonderful opportunity.  Maybe you aren't getting a job because you aren't supposed to get a job.   Maybe you are supposed to get behind the book like you keep talking about.  Maybe everything that has happened is to this end.  Go for it. I got your back."     

Ah, the love and wisdom of a good man.  Yes, he was right.  Like the joke about the family on the roof in the flood, refusing every offer of help that came along, while they continued to pray for help   Eventually, their god asked what they were waiting for, after refusing the jeep, canoe, boat, raft, helicopter, and hang glider that had been sent in answer to their prayers.  In my quest for a job, I wasn't seeing the message embedded in the heap of rejection.   Thank you, Jay, for being the sturdy branch and helping me accept this opportunity.

So that is how I came to this place of dedicating the next year of my life to doing everything I can to support, promote, and launch the Culture of Hope.    It is my job.  I've spent this week building a web page (www.cultureofhope.com), blog (http://cultureofhope.blogspot.com/), and facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/cultureofhope).  They are still works in progress as I learn the ins and outs.  I am working on flyers and promotional materials and thinking about the types of talks I could do to introduce the book, like free sessions at the Library and local bookstores, and sessions for schools.   Bob (co-author) and I are talking about what we can do together, and we talk about this passing of the torch, from seasoned consultant to rookie.   I couldn't ask for a better mentor than Bob....   

It is all so exhilarating and extremely motivating. It is also VERY scary.  I wonder where this bravery and commitment come from... 

Oh yeah, I have a sturdy branch that will catch me if I fall. I have a love that makes me stronger than I ever thought possible, and encourages me to dream large.  I am a very, very lucky lady.

Home on the Ridge

Home Again!!!   Ber and Gio moved in to their new pasture on Wednesday!!!    

It is Saturday, and I am grateful  to be home, working on pear butter, catching up on computer stuff, and generally enjoying not cleaning pens and smelling like ammonia and manure.    Ber and Gio stepped out of the trailer and settled right in, like they belonged there.  Big hug of gratitude for Jay's help. He's becoming quite the horse hand. Could not have loaded them, unloaded them, and introduced them to their new home without his patient, focused hand.  :)

Gio and Ber's  new friend, Dancer, is very happy to have a herd again, too. She's in her 20's, and she has been alone for about a year.   She's stiff, and the moving around is doing her good. 

I'm enjoying riding  my bike there every day. It's about 32 minutes there, and 26 minutes back, thanks to the big hill at the end, climbing up to the pasture. I didn't realize how much the road climbed until I was shifting down into low to haul the trailer and horses up!  Wow.   

We have miles of trails to explore around the lake, after we get settled in.  Here's a trail map if you want to see: http://www.mendotrails.org/downloads/Lake_mendo_trails.pdf

To share the celebration, here is a collection of pictures from moving day.

View up the pasture, happy grazing horses.

New Herd: Ber, Dancer, Gio.

Gio says Move!  Ber leaps up the hill.

Gio eats where Ber vacated from. Ber circles around....

Happy happy happy!!

Gio using her muscles!

Ber being all regal and looking at the lake...

Settling in.  Can almost see Lake Mendocino...

Hard working man taking a break in the shade.

Anderson Marsh

On Sunday, I traveled to Lake County to visit friends.   The day started out with a hike at Anderson Marsh with Nikki and Marta.  I was captivated by the visual beauty of the park.   So this post is mostly photos! 

  I was also delighted to find a healthy patch of blackberries.   I'd been seeking blackberries and thought I'd missed the season here in the hotter climate.   Every patch I'd found had shriveled up, mummified berries that had evaporated all juice.    This patch was growing right next to a channel full of water, so it still had fat juicy berries!   However, I did not bring anything to pick berries in, besides my small bucket.  Nikki and Marta donated water bottles and cups, I used my water bottle and picking bucket.    All told, I was able to get about 2 quarts of berries. Yay!!  My arms and legs are scratched to prove I actually picked them, too.  :)  Going to totally enjoy the blackberry crisp in my near future....

After berry picking, I stopped at Studebaker's in Kelseyville to have lunch with Susan and visit. Wonderful to catch up with everyone, and I look forward to my September visit.  :) 

 

Bumps in the Road...

 

Middle of new pasture, great tree!

Well, here I am, back to the blog finally.  Emerging from August with hope in my heart again.  Where have I been for a month?  Finding a new place for Ber and Gio to call home.   The short story is Gio got hurt on the fence, I moved them to a stable where they lived in the equivalent of equine jail cells, and I spent the last month cleaning their pens every day, getting them out once or twice a day, and hunting for new place.  Found one, spent the last week working on fence, and they are set to move in the next few days.  When I look back, it is awesome it only took me a month to find a place.  But the day to day reality of that month was awfully excruciating.   Every day, seeing them in their pens, and not able to explain to them what was happening and that they would only be there for a short while....

Horse jail....Very nice place, excellent people, but still confinement.

The wounds, cleaned and ready to bandage....nice to have an ER nurse around!!

Ouch.   Cleaned and ready for bandages....

Right leg.

Left leg.

 I'll take pictures of her today, which is a bit over 4 weeks since she hurt herself.   They look really good now, and she seems to have no ill effects from the experience.  Besides the effects of being locked up for a month, which includes stinking really bad!

Right hind at 5 weeks

Left hind a 5 weeks.

Both, 5 weeks.

Happier days, enjoying the good life at Twinings.....

At Twinings, enjoying the good life.....

 
Long story.....Ber and Gio loved the pastures at Twinings and being part of a herd. Best thing ever for them.   However,, Giovanna did not concern herself with the fence or with how closely she rolled to the fence. Best I can tell, she plunked herself down in a beautiful soft dirt pile that happened to be right next to the smooth wire fence.  When she rolled, she laid her hind legs over the bottom wire, got tangled up, and eventually extricated herself.   She will have some nice scars, but has healed up nicely.

Wounds one week later.

Wounds one week later.

Ukiah is not a hotbed of horse boarding, and I was surprised at how hard it was to find a place. Fortunately, J-Arena had openings, and the people that own it are wonderful.   I moved Ber and Gio just 4 days after she hurt herself. They've been safe at J-Arena.   Of course, Berhwood found a way to skin his face on the beam of the roof of his shelter.  It's a lovely zig-zag which would look neat if it grew in with white hair....

The new pasture will be good for them.  It's hilly, with some flat spots, so they will get a lot of exercise moseying about. They have a neighbor, and will eventually have the ability to roam the whole property. There are three pastures and we need to do fence work on the other two pastures before they can go there.    There's a view of Lake Mendocino, and we have full access to all the trails around the lake.    Stay tuned for more horse adventures to come!!!

View of pasture from the road.  White electric fence is what we put up.  Pasture in foreground is the next one to work on.

View of Lake Mendocino from the upper corner of the pasture.

Giovanna's First Adventure

Looking where we came from...

Not to be outdone by Berhwood, Giovanna went for her first adventure today.   I took her on the same path as Ber and I traveled yesterday, but I walked her all the way out.   Wasn't sure if she would be steady or spooky.  She did great, and was much calmer and more settled than she's ever been, anywhere. This herd life really suits her, and this ranch has good energy.

It is a rare overcast, muggy day here. Still over 100 degrees, but the shade is nice.

The trail goes along the edge of the pasture the herd is in, except the pasture follows the ridge of a hill.  As we walked off down the trail, the rest of the herd walked along the fence line. They looked like they were going up an escalator as they rose with the hill.  We left them behind and ventured out into the ranch.   

The next section of trail to explore....

I rode Gio back. Boy does she walk out quick!  She was much steadier than I expected, and not in a terrible hurry to get back to the herd.   All in all, another good horse day.

Herd buddies just neighed, hence the cocked ear and eye....

Canning season has arrived. First up was plum jam.  These were clingstone plums, so we experimented with methods for getting the plum flesh free from the pits.   Cooking the plums in a bit of water, then cooling them and fishing out the pits worked well.   Pretty much no loss of juice or flesh that way.  Hands get stained, but that's okay!  Reminds me of my mom's hands when it was blackberry picking season.

Looking to the yonder.

Today is pickled beets. Tomorrow or Thursday will be Asian Plum Sauce. I had one jar left from the infamous Rio Dell plum canning of 2011, and we used it the other night in stir fry. Jay thought it was awesome and we need more.   :)

Where we came from....

Adventuring We Go!

Ber looking out at the great beyond.

Monday, Ber and I ventured out onto a trail at the ranch.  We have gone over to the arena, but this was the first time crossing through a gate and seeing what was out there.  I was waiting for the herd to settle down a bit so that my removing Ber wouldn't cause too much upset.   Ber, he wasn't worried at all about being taken out. He is the bottom of the pack, so I didn't expect him to mind.    The others, they were back in the pasture calling for him and worrying. 

He turned for a "horsie" (horse version of a selfie).

Horsing around!

 
  The ranch is 1500 acres of rolling hills with oaks and grasslands. There's a dry creek bed going through a valley, and a semblance of a road going along the creek bed. I felt this was the best choice for our first venture, since the gate is right next to the Red Barn where the horses are located. 









The grass is all dry now, so it is this tawny yellow-gold color.  When we set out, it was about 80 degrees and climbing. The forecast was for 106 degrees (Fahrenheit, of course).  With the heat, there wasn't much out and about, save a couple birds in the bushes.

and there's the great blue yonder....

Throughout the whole ride, Ber showed his steadiness and enjoyment of adventure.   He was curious and interested in his surroundings, without tension in his body.  He startled just three times, where his body kind of jumped a bit and he looked closely at something. Once was a flicker flying up from a tree, once was a log that appeared suddenly when we rounded a corner, and once was a hole in a tree that looked different when we came back the other way!    All three times he looked and then resumed his journey. I stopped him many times along the way to give him room to look around at things.   

 

Heading back to the pasture.  Relaxed, enjoying the journey.  

This was our first of what I hope to be many enjoyable adventures at this ranch. How lucky we are to have this place to explore!   How lucky I am to have this horse Ber to share these adventures with.  He turned 11 this year, and he's matured into a pretty lovely boy.  Being a part of a herd has put the icing on the cake as far as his steadiness and relaxation goes. He seems to be very content right now.

In other news, I am continuing to search for a job, while also enjoying time to settle in and explore life in this new town.  Jay works as an ER nurse, and works six 12 hours shifts every 2 weeks.  It is a pretty sweet schedule, in that he has a lot of time to do what he wants during the week, though those long days are pretty long!  Yesterday, after dinner, we had just enough time before bed to walk to the golf course 1/2 mile away.  Jay putted and pitched and I went for a 30 min. run.    We met back up and walked home in the twilight, marveling at the wonder of it all.
 

The joy of rolling in sweet grass...

I am grateful beyond measure for this opportunity....to see this version of my life unfold, to feel like a kid again every day when I wake up, wondering "what will this day hold?"    Right now, I am going to walk to the nearby bakery to pick up a few loaves of day-old bread for the freezer, and then ride my bike to the horses to check on them and see what Giovanna wants to do today....